The Gym

I joined a gym to make myself better. I'm going as often as I can but every time I'm there all I get are passive aggressive looks from the people that work there. It's because I don't know what I'm doing. I work out like a clumsy fish out of water, flopping around. So I have to watch one of them figure out if they want to come over to talk to me. It takes some time but then they finally do and they ask if I need help.

"Excuse me, sir." "Yeah?"

"Excuse me, but I was seeing how you were using the machine and you're doing it in a way that can possibly harm your body."

"What? Does this thing give me cancer if I do it the wrong way?"

"No, it's just that your arms need to be turned more like this." "Okay, like this."

"No." "Oh, like this?"

"No, not like that either. Here let me help you."

And the guy has to position my arms the right way. It's gross. I didn't pay for a guy to touch my arms. So then he lets me work out again. I go back to doing it my way and the poor bastard gives up for the day. They're always trying to show me how to do it right and my mind understands what they're saying but my body just doesn't get it, it's a stubborn asshole. My body says "I dont know, guys. Sounds like bullshit to me." and my mind says "What an asshole. I give up." The thing is this keeps happening, and I'm wondering when trainers are going to stop because I'm never going to learn. Trust me. I have experienced this same situation all my life. Just let me work out like an asshole. I'm paying the monthly fee, let me tone my physique in a way that will kill me slowly. Use your OCD nazi weight training rules on someone else.